Posted by Tom Fornelli
Over the last few days, we’ve learned quite a bit about Auburn quarterback Cam Newton. First the news broke last week about the NCAA investigation into Newton’s recruitment after he left Florida following an incident in which he stole a laptop, and now the news that Newton cheated while enrolled in Gainesville.
Dark secrets indeed, but they merely scratch the surface. I did some digging of my own, utilizing my many sources throughout the college football world and public school system of College Park, Georgia. What I uncovered during my investigation will chill you to the bone.
This is just some of what I learned.
– While in the second grade, Newton checked the book Where The Wild Things Are out from the College Park Public Library. He returned the book two weeks late, and refused to pay the 25 cents in late fees.
– While in the third grade, a classmate alleged that Newton stole his chocolate milk during lunch. Two other students saw him do it, but lunch room officials never found evidence of the stolen milk, and Newton did not serve any detention.
– In the fifth grade, Newton’s class was told to make a diarama about a book they read. Newton had chosen The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and turned in a diarama of Huck and Tom Sawyer sailing down the Mississippi River. It was very well done, and while there was suspicion that his parents may have helped him, it was never proven. He received a B+.
– When Newton was 13 he stole a Snickers bar on a dare from some friends from the local convenience store. He was caught by the proprietor, who then called the police to teach Newton a lesson. The police then made Newton pay for the candy bar before taking him home to his parents. Newton was grounded for a week.
– Three years later, at the age of 16, Newton returned to the same convenience store to get some Gatorade. The total for his purchase was $1.26. Newton only had a quarter on him, and didn’t want to break another dollar. Thankfully there was a “Take a penny, leave a penny” tray on the counter. Newton only needed one penny, but he took three.
These are just some of the stories I learned in my investigation. Clearly, Cam Newton is a monster that needs to be stopped. Hopefully somebody can stop him before he strikes again.