>Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying

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Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying

Thanks to the marketing skills of Japanese company Sanrio, Hello Kitty’s cute-cat character has been going strong for 35 years and has become an internationally-recognized brand. One of the most diverse and unpredictable places in the entire universe, the world of Hello Kitty encompasses a vast collection of strange products that dazzle the mind and serve as material for an extensive list of noteworthy weirdness.

Since there are thousands of Hello Kitty products in just about every category imaginable, it’s difficult to find the weirdest of the weird. Furthermore, many Hello Kitty pictures floating around the Internet are actually photoshopped fakes, so it takes some time to figure out what’s real and what’s not.

Still, I managed to scrape together this list of examples that appear to be legitimate products. So, hold on to your seats and get ready to be entertained, disturbed, and maybe even sexually abused by one of the world’s most famous felines!

Guns.
Did you think Hello Kitty was too cute for violence? Think again, because with a little effort you could be the proud owner of an assault rifle just like this one.

hello kitty assault rifle1 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Anti-virus programs.
Looks like the Hello Kitty brand has been exploited to market someone’s anti-virus program. Personally, I wouldn’t trust my computer’s health and well-being with something like this.

hello kitty virus protection

Condoms.
After researching and writing an article about weird Asian condoms, I can’t believe I missed this one. I mean, it’s so natural to expect Hello Kitty on a condom package, right?

kitty condom Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Condom holders.
Buy yourself one of those Hello Kitty condoms, and you’ll probably have to spring for one of these lovely condom holders as well.

hello kitty condom keeper1 393x523 custom Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Tooth caps.
Any votes for this precious little innovation of orthodontics? Why yes thank you, I’d simply love to have Hello Kitty’s face implanted permanently in my mouth!

kitty molar Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Urinal targets.
I am not making this up. Even if you’re a Hello Kitty fan, why would this be appealing? On the other hand, if you don’t care too much for her, the whole experience of relieving yourself could be very gratifying.

hello kitty urinal targets1 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Toilet seats.
Girls, please don’t feel left out after seeing that last product. To guarantee your complete urination experience, Hello Kitty also adorns toilet seats.

kitty toilet seat Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying pictureSanrio Hello Kitty Toilet Seat Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Electronic toilet paper dispensers.
Here’s yet another one for the bathroom. Talk about an invasion of privacy. Is there nowhere Hello Kitty won’t go? (For those of you who are wondering, yes, Hello Kitty toilet paper is also available.)

kitty paper 268x198 custom Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picturehello kitty toilet paper 300x225 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Sausage links.
This is just bizarre. Who really wants to see that dancing around on their meat tubes?

hello kitty sausages1 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Jets.
Taiwanese Eva Air has a Hello Kitty airplane that flies between Taiwan and Japan. The interior decoration is Hello Kitty-themed, of course.

kitty air Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

hello kitty airplane interior Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Contacts.
This is similar to those creepy cat-eye contacts people wear during the Halloween season. Although these don’t grab your attention as quickly, once you realize what’s going on, it’s pretty strange.

hello kitty contacts

Wedding dresses.
You’ve got to have a serious crush on Hello Kitty to get married in one of these. What do you think, guys? Sexy, or maybe not so much?

hello kitty wedding gown Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

hello kitty wedding Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Fake fingernails.
Put these on and spread the Hello Kitty love to everyone around you. It’s like the famous Midas touch, except nothing turns into gold. Instead, people just stare at you with undisguised perplexity.

hello kitty fingernails

Bongs.
If I’m reading the right sources, this is apparently a Hello Kitty coin bank that has been modified for smoking pot. As far as I know, it’s not technically a real product, but hey, it’s pretty hilarious!

kitty bong Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

kitty bong02 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Tampons and pads.
Is there a “bodily fluids” theme going on here, or am I just crazy? Boldly going where few cartoon characters dare to go, Hello Kitty.

kitty pads Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

hello kitty pads1 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Douches.
Someone please tell me this is a fake, or just go ahead and kill me right now. I have no idea why something like Hello Kitty should ever be associated with douches.

douche Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Vibrators.
Let’s not get into the details here, but you really have to be in love with Hello Kitty to want this one. Also available in black, red, and lavender.

hello kitty vibrator Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Floggers.
Okay, maybe the vibrators can be tolerated. But floggers? Please excuse me for a moment while I stare in utter horror at my computer screen. I think I’ve finally reached a point where words no longer serve any purpose whatsoever.

hello kitty flogger1 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

hello kitty flogger 2

House.
What better way to store all your weird and crazy Hello Kitty stuff, than in your Hello Kitty House…

kitty house Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

kittyhouse01 Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

A few of our Twitter followers had the following to share as well:

Becks Beer
Thanks to @Munkitude for this one.

hell0 kitty becks Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

Corsets
Thanks to @rabelrouser for this one.

hell0 corsett Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

hello corset Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying picture

So there you have it. Welcome to the weird world of Hello Kitty!

(links 1 2 3)

By Brandt on 14-09-2009

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Comments (18)

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What the ****………. People has serious issues

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

Enter text right here!

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

ummmm, wow. that is some twisted stuff right there

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

Well, it IS a weird world that knows no age limit. My wife, for example, has a Hello Kitty change purse, lamp, tons of notebooks and stickers. I don’t get it, but it’s a pleasant quirk.

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

What a collection of Hello Kitty-inspired and licensed products. It’s got to be difficult to distinguish between the two. I’m pretty sure, for example, the Hello Kitty AR-15 or whatever is not an officially licensed product but a modification.

1 reply · active 12 hours ago

Yeah, you’re probably right. It’s really hard to tell and it takes so much time to research all of this. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s not an actual product

However you don’t want to let drunk hello kitty fans paint your race car – look at the roof.

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

I’d most def blaze out of that hello kitty bong, it’d be sicker if it was a zong. =P

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

and don’t forget the hello kitty bicycle tire treads!
http://www.engadget.com/2007/11/27/bicycle-tire-r…

1 reply · active 12 hours ago

Wow, awesome!!

a japanese's avatar

a japanese · 17 hours ago

Kitty camera : http://www.gizmodo.jp/2007/11/3_13.html
“Hello Kitty” transformation set for exclusive use of a cat : http://www.gizmodo.jp/2007/07/post_1941.html

FYI.
Name : Kitty White
The date of birth: November 1, 1974
Hometown: The London suburbs
Height: five apples
The weight: three apples
A blood type: type A
Favorite food: The apple pie which the mom made
Others : She got the ribbon from her mom.

oh, she is not japanese 😉

1 reply · active 12 hours ago

Nice camera. And the cat outfit is interesting, too.

There’s actually a Hello Kitty hospital in Taiwan: http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUS…

1 reply · active 12 hours ago

Yep. Weird Asia News actually ran an article about that one:
http://www.weirdasianews.com/2009/09/12/taiwans-k…

hello darth kitty

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

Cool, but what about the comment that says it’s a photoshop job?

i know there is a lot of hello kitty out there.Is there any goodbye doggie to be had…………oh yeah,I forgot the chinese ate then all.

0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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    One Response to >Hello Kitty: The Funny, The Weird, And The Horrifying

    1. >Thanks for such nice write up

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